Charles Crosbie Bio

Current Residence: Ogden, Utah (so speak slowly…)

Education: General B.S. at Weber State University

Sports Covered: Boxing

Other Sports Followed: Non-BCS College Football, Fantasy Football, Fantasy Women’s Beach Volleyball, The Art of Flopping (a.k.a. the NBA).

Participate(d) in Sports: Boxing (Okay, anyone can clearly see I’m far too fat, slow and white for that claim to hold any truth), basketball, tennis, baseball/softball, bowling, amateur competitive eating (Singles Division).

Music: I’m a sucker for any love song by Tool, Metallica, Alice in Chains, Linkin Park, Pink Floyd, 30 Seconds to Mars, Rise Against or Fall Out Boy.

Words to describe me: Balding Caucasian male, approximately 5’ 10”, 180 lbs. still at large for public exposure.

Favorite Quotes:
“Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals – except the weasel.” – H. J. Simpson

“Cause I’m bluffin’ with my muffin; I’m not lying, I’m just stunnin’ with my love-glue-gunning” – Lady Stefani Joanne Angelina Gaga

“’I ain’t never been to jail!’ What do you want, a cookie?! You’re not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having mother____!” – Christopher Julius Rock III

Professional Statistics:

Amateur Boxing Record: 5-0 2 KOs  Light Welterweight
(Don’t let the record fool you, they were a right scrappy bunch for a so-called “average” Girl Scout troop.)

Professional Boxing Record: 0-0 0 KOs Junior Middleweight
(Leave it to corrupt state boxing commissions to deny a slow, overweight, uncoordinated fighter who can’t pass the reading portion of the urine test a license to fight.)

 Round Card Girls Met: 3

 Round Card Girl Rejections: 4

 Writing Inclusions:

Submissions published in The Ring and KO Magazines and ringtv.com.

Four-time winner of the Late Show Top Ten Contest

Penthouse Letter of the Month (entirely fabricated anecdote detailing a conquest at a local car wash).

Posted by chaz